When 'The wants' are vague 'Don't wants' become visible

       The first ever question anybody comes across upon visiting somebody's home is 'what do you like to have tea or coffee?' Perplexed by just 2 choices a person thinks 'I prefer coffee but tea would be healthy' or 'I like taste of tea but I take coffee as I am little drowsy'. Finally he/she makes a decision 'All right I go for coffee'. Once the coffee arrives, just after 2 sips he/she thinks 'Oh!! god, I thought I would love coffee but it's not instant coffee instead it is filter coffee that I don't like much'. With a simulated smile on the face a reply comes 'Oh!! god, I never had such an amazing coffee in my life' while mind warns "Never opt for a coffee in this home again".

        In the next visit to the same home, number of options boil down to just one.

Host: Would you like to have coffee??
                              
                                  A diplomatic reply goes with a grin

Guest: Oh!! I would love to but this time let me taste tea and judge which one should I go for next time.

 Life can surprise the unlucky with a statement like

Host: Oh!! sorry dude we don't have tea right now. So as you like our coffee much I think you don't mind having the same.

Guest: No problem. That's quite fine with me. (Thinks: what a miserable life)

 

       This is the way life is. We just can't perceive what we really like or most of the times they go wrong. But the best part is, a choice always leads to a conclusion either like/dislike. All one can do is make a choice and keep the choice in one of the two categories like/dislike.  

I made a couple of choices in my life that guided me to wants and don't wants as below.

Don't wants:

1. To be a President/CEO of a company, sitting in an AC glass chamber, perusing a big pile of papers or skimming through system all the time.  
2. A comfortable and peaceful life. 
3. Let superficial stuff like place, money or materials rule my life. 
4. A girl, beautiful but not compatible to my character.
5. Afraid of anything including death. 
6. Break of a promise made. 
7. Can not live without something or someone. 
8. Luggage that curbs my mobility. 
9. Shoes that bite. 

Wants:

1. A job that makes me run, roam, read and write as well as challenging or life threatening. 
2. A busy and tiring life. 
3. A body that never tires. 
4. A heart that never withers. 
5. A couple of eyes that never shed tears in any amount of pain. 
6. A girl, inspires but not impedes (needs 100% luck).

"Yes, I carry a pseudo label" an open letter to my one and only f(oe)riend..

      One of my friends and ex-room mate, having a distinct name (for me) disclosed an open secret in my RG session (where my friends share their opinions about me, with everyone) i.e with a little expurgation :), "He is a cool chap, putting peace all the time, not a fight putter at all, never wanted to get into IIT but did it to teach a lesson to a guy (with a name that of mine). Never mess up with him and especially beware of his ferocious punches on walls, but be confident while teasing because he can never hurt a living thing :P. Very kind-hearted, comes to you and asks whether you are fine, even if you oversleep :P." 

     Someone or the other reminded me of this incident buddy, by the way thanks to the nick-name system at IITM because of which I don't have to call you by your real name. As you know I am no way in touch with the guy you mentioned but there is much I got to tell him. Here is an open letter to him. 

To

My F(oe)riend, 

Some street, 

Some place, 

Some city. 

Sub:- Your statements were absolutely infallible, I carry a Pseudo label over my head. 

         Hello buddy. How are you doing? I don't know where you are and I don't want to know as well. I am quite sure you would be eager to hear anything from me. I will ensure that you don't need any spies anymore. 

         I am here, in a no man's land doing nothing great, nothing productive and nothing lucrative. Do you remember the day you laughed at me for a relatively reasonable time when I misinterpreted the meaning of 'pi'? You said with your mocking smile "Do you deserve to be here?". I must have listened to you before coming this far dude. I always liked your smile dude, which is heart-breaking for gals, which has taught me how to read, which has taught me how to stay awake while holding a book, which reminds me of the fact you expressed.

          I couldn't realize that fact until I get into IITM, where I happened to be a  part of people as brilliant and as smart as you. I told myself "I have fallen into a sizzling furnace from a simmering griddle". I never stood even 3rd from the bottom of the class there buddy, never been to abroad, couldn't get a decent job but I started making some good and real friends. Had I learnt some tactics from you, which could have helped me to get abroad chances/internships (as most of my friends got) but you know I am adamant. I stick to what I am, forgetting the fact that long-term is the combination of short-terms.

          Now everybody including myself, knows that fact "I carry a pseudo label, which I really don't deserve pertaining to my standards". I lost people I loved, I couldn't have the only person who must have felt extremely happy and proud, during my convocation. I am losing regularly. Still I will be trying for something I don't deserve buddy, something out of my range, I should be grateful to your smile always. I know it is too late to express, but still thanks a tonne buddy. Without you I couldn't have got any label (Pseudo/Real). I always miss your smile.

          In contrary this time I would like to convey a fact "I lost, I lost, I lost" dude.. You were right.


With warm regards,

K. Lokesh.